Asphyxia

Lost in the apparition before me
Eyes blur so that it’s all I see
“Are you God?” My ignorance of the situation
Maybe he thought I belonged in an institution with that insinuation

Dizziness my only love, my only mistress
As the atmospheric pressure seems to stop the stress
To my distress, my lungs are now a mess
Swimming in their own elation and happiness

But they’re happiness comes to my detriment
Life now just a bittersweet sentiment
Eyes filled with resentment, till they’re white
Mind blanks, as it’s enveloped by the night

The night surrounds me, or maybe it’s darkness and it’s embrace
But this sweet nothingness is just a taste, laced
Laced with empty hopes and dreams
Limb; when reality splits at its seams

Weightless and disowned, my body is not my own
These sins my tomb stone
My hands limp and my breath steady, flat, nonexistent
And you grip me, try to hold me close, death, you’re so persistent

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King

I lie, all humans do really, at some point you just fall,

We all must lie, because at some point we get tired standing,

We get tired having to care about it all,

We get tired of the petty squabbles and misunderstandings.

We all lie, but as I lay my head to rest, it’s not from fatigue,

It’s out of understanding, that I’m out of my league.

Out of my realm of comfort and expertise,

For though I am king my crown is merely a lease.

The cheap plastic we received and the kingdom we share,

Is but a speck of dust, in the earth’s atmosphere.

That is, when we compare it to the laurel reef we are about to receive,

And with it, the power, or so the predecessors would believe.

So, as I stare at the stars, they glare back at me.

For those most coveted, I’m but an ant they’re yet to see,

And while the others reach for their positions,

I too shall look on in awe, and try to envision,

The fleeting joy of being on top of the world.

To have your full weight lifted and hurled,

Into the air, as the whole world sings.

For in this competition, you are declared king.

Dear Death

Why do you allude me,
Yet fixate on all that I see,
All that I aspire to be.
I do not wish to encounter you myself,
I just wish that you would shelf
These games you play for my health.
These taunts that encourage me to pursue,
Pursue you,
Pursue the warmth of your cold embrace,
The beauty in your eyes that receive my soul,
The enticement of your touch that stills my heart.
The hand that makes me fold,
The black jack from the very start.
I do not wish to meet you,
I just wish you wouldn’t meet my dreams too.
For you make my reality a nightmare,
For in the dead of night you appear,
You rob me blind, without a tinge of fear,
For you do it so gently, I don’t even know you’re there.
That is, until it’s too late.
Make me question life and fate,
Make me wonder whether you’re a perpetrator or accomplice.
Life and fate hang in the balance, with the air tasteless.
Look what you have accomplished, I’m now a lost heir.
Bequeathed of my thrown, what is fair?
Fair is when you my friend abandon me,
Fair is when there is no fog obscuring what I see,
Fair is when I can be all that I want to be.
Reality is when you embrace me and hold me close,
Reality is when the most well thought out plans me get a dose,
Reality is when that dose spreads, through all hopes and dreams,
But reality like it’s cousin death, schemes.
Reality’s constant battle with ambition is what creates fairness,
Which in turn brings out the worst or the best.
For when you my friend kiss my lips,
I too will become reality, covered with tulips.

Fame

Never do I want my talent to be tainted by fame,
I don’t want my responses to be tamed,
Because with a claim to fame, comes the quench of a flame.
The flame, that burned in your audiences eyes all the same.

The fame will smother and murder it,
Murder the criticism and honesty of it,
Hype up the undeserving worship,
Until you just give up and substance gets a skip.

Until death do you part,
And if you’re going to stop don’t start,
So, you can give your all, but keep it hidden,
Because once you show, they will take it all, till you’re bedridden.

Down trodden, broken until it spills out of you.
You’re left with a shotgun to your brain thinking this pain is true,
But this pain isn’t you, it’s just a side effect of fame,
A side effect of the drug, you unknowingly claim.