Cold nights like cut stone,
Thoughts more deadly than the sins I atone,
Body simply on loan to my mind,
And my mind is a clear land mass, riddled with land mines,
At the time, I thought it was fine, it’ll just pass with time.
Just trapped, silent partner in this firm, party with all mimes.
Lost in transmission so there is no admission,
No admittance, no pardons nor partitions,
I want no part of the parkour you call life,
Nor the hypocritical war tyrant you call wife.
A wound in the back is the same to the heart,
We all feel the pain, but its start of revelation is the true art,
Society saying its ethnicity that causes me to hope,
So then is it ethnicity that causes people to elope?
Or is it just bad genes that cut seams of bad lineage?
Hierarchy of business no more lenient that religious parentage,
All part of a new order or reorder from a new age,
Since the world is a concert with constant repetition on stage.
My ideas spark to fire I’m a mage, a magician,
Light burns bright despite the blown fuse, I’m an electrician,
Burning down the walls of relativity, sanity and existence,
Love, happiness it’s all relative like that crazy imaginary cousin’s persistence.
All dependent upon one scintilla of a molecular inconsistency,
One unexpected, yet fated phenomenon from which there is no cognitive equivalent. Me.
All alone in a world I can’t call my own,
Restricted to the ground can’t remember the last time I’ve flown,
Took off, soared, to lands unknown, with peace and tranquility.
But tranquility circles the drain, as this double edged sword breeds war to infinity,
And beyond that my imagination is an oasis,
However, its light years away and on a flight most miss.
I’m faceless as I’m face down in this ground,
Cowering from true terror as I drown in this gown,
For I am a judge but my own trial reveals my horrific deed,
My own murder, or would it be suicide? The knife placates the wounds on which I feed.
Vampirism, a fantasy in this dark twisted finale,
Do I have the power necessary to save me?
Or must I just runaway and hide under the bed like a preteen?
On the idea of the monster I am coming out the closet I’m not too keen,
So I rather stay and fight till I see all of the lights.
Decorate the wall with the blood of those I smite,
Light a fire under the bonnet of my life, watch this world take flight,
Kite when string pops, up and drops into chaos,
Marriage with a ring pop, starvation or its revocation, both your loss
Bet you’re caught on the words and lost in the translation,
But this is just a nightmare not a dream, a cognitive disenfranchised revelation.
Walking a fine line between pessimistic and realistic, trying not to fall
Got these dance moves and lebron shoes, trying to find the right way to ball.
After all they’re no mistakes just decisions that bring unknown results,
They’re no knives sprouting from the mouth, just dirty insults.
The end result of a time when our mind was confined,
Caged by the presence of this pain, waiting to blow like a mine.
Almost packed to capacity, brimming with a broken pride and a bruised ego,
Subconscious, consciously screaming to let me go.
So I succumb to this chemically induced joy,
Wind me up and watch me go like a toy,
As it all fades away, I skate away to a place where I can fade away.
Just sit beneath the stars on my imaginary beach and watch the tides sway.
Ye, I like it this way, this way likes me, it has no light but the end I see,
This tunnel is shrouded in darkness and shrouded in a cloud but i’m still free,
Free to travel without taking flight, free to dream without having slept,
Free to enjoy the tears without having wept, and my troubles? Away they’re swept.
But with every reward comes great risk, so then what must I give for this bliss?
What must I sacrifice so that I can eternally enjoy this kiss?
Enjoy the way it warms me inside and brings that sparkle to my eye,
Tell me, and I will give it all to enjoy this eternal high..
I turn myself over to higher authority,
My hand slick from this feeling of superiority.
As it bled out my every being reverberated with joy,
Now it seems regret is all I deploy.
This inner war a battle between myself and I,
Siri Guru Devay Nemah,
For this desire within me is truly unknown.
The way it speaks of demise in that unfamiliar tone,
Yet I give in, more than that I embrace it.
I embraced this side of me as my eyes lit,
Red with passion, my voice blue like the cold listless night,
So now I stand here, battered and breathless like I just got in a fight.
And though it seems I won, I feel lost,
I just wanted to be found, not at this cost.
I can’t take the pain of that guilt riddle facade I put on,
Because I love it, the beauty in making my emotions a pawn.
So I shove the evidence in the chest and review my handy work,
Grinning maniacally, hands sticky from every squirt.
Now I stand, guilt riddle with more questions than answers, am I sane?
Because as I look at this paper, I see that my pen did it again.
A picture is worth a thousand words,
So tell me, how many are in the picture of this bird
As I recount its heroic tale do my words then represent a picture?
Represent thousands, as the walls give way from this fixture?
For this is not a picture on canvas, but that is stitched across my very heart.
Every word paints a thousand gasp inducing pictures, for this is art.
This is Picasso meets van Gogh, with a hint of the modern industry,
But I digress before I go on rants like an unstable ministry,
But like a minister I preach tonight,
I beseech thee, let these be your sight.
And as I give you the ecstasy delivered with every flick of the pen,
Upon which you can no longer stand, just say when.
Say when you’re overwhelmed and overpowered,
Say when your very soul is consumed, every thought devoured.
Tell me, as I write this novella of a bird winter blue,
And your interpretations see this blue as a clue.
An inclination of the emotional state of me,
But that’s not true for this bird is royalty, this bird shall decree,
That you see the pictures in these words and read between the lines,
For every word is a thousand pictures but I lost count, speechless within my confines.