If you understood the world like I do
You would be more like me and less like you
If I saw your struggle and raised you mine
Would you be inclined to decline?
Or would you accept thinking that mine was the dream to your reality?
One where you cling to hope so hopelessly you question sanity
Where you stand at the step of defeat while you taste victory’s sweet treat
To your tortured soul this is but an unfathomable task, an eternal retreat
One that kindles the flame in your heart while repressing all intellect
Reality never beating the blissful dream you select
Ignorance is bliss, knowledge being selective we create our own abyss
Our own misery, acquired by selfishness, aspirations to be the best
While we grasp for more we always seem to hold less
The more we try to take the more we leave behind
The more we try to see the more we are blind
To be blind in this world is not kind, for it will pick your pockets and steal you
Though undignified and disgraceful you know my statement is true
So tell me, if you saw the world as I do,
Would you rather be like me, or you?
We live in a world where some Christians judge more than those appointed,
Some of the most holy are those who weren’t even anointed,
House of the lord tainted by those who want a quick fix to permanent sin,
Aren’t willing to stop, even if it means condemning next of kin.
Treat people like what they ought to be,
Help them become what they themselves can’t see,
Help dreams become a reality,
But reality actually just breeds cruelty
Because the meek shall inherit the earth but the meek are frail
The meek always fail in the comparison to what is real
And reality is a curse established to the end of time
So then will those who die now be reborn in a earth more sublime?
We live in a world where answers just recreate questions we thought we had passed
We live in a world where we love but it never last
We live in a time where everyone fucks no one ever makes love
A time where freedom is associated with a dove
So then can you tell me how is that dove really free?
How are any of use free when we are slaves to society
One so contradictory that it’s almost hypocritical
One where we’re littered with truths yet lies are recycled.
I no longer want your approval, for that is as fleeting as the happiness on Christmas day,
Nor do I want your empty smiles and listless laughs as my emotions you try to sway.
Your presence no longer needs to be a constant as it presents unforeseen conflict,
No longer do I want the hugs that ensue love, for our views on that seem to contradict.
What do I desire?
I desire an emotional connection; truthful, not like the lies that transpire.
I desire a view from the pier as I set on my course riddled with trials and fear,
I know in this life there is not always a true definition of fair, so I just want someone to hold dear.
What have I learnt?
That in this life equality only occurs when something is thoroughly burnt,
Sometimes not even then, the justice system like life isn’t fair, but just, sometimes corrupt.
But in order to swim with sharks you need a rubber suit and electricity, make the water erupt.
Lessons taught are like battles fought, but battles are to be chosen wisely,
Not to be fought wildly but calculated with absolute precision .
Precisely the problem when you encounter every fight,
Which is to be learnt from and which to be discarded, which to fight which shall flight.
To what end is the means justified
In what dream is peace glorified
When will there ever be just one question and one answer
When will it be green on both pastures?
Every year we have this very same conversation,
Every year I make the same dismal observation,
So this year I decided not to dwell on the black skies but instead embrace the sunshine,
So as the sun shines on this beautiful Christmas day, I cross the line.
I cross the line of relativity, giving in to one of my most primitive emotions; elation.
Though this time is synonymous with snow, even in this golden glow there is a relation.
For in the hearts warmed by presents and the eyes gleaming by the wrapping,
I melt in your presence as I wrap my arms around you, love overlapping.
Love overflowing like the cup of eggnog our imagination pours,
And as I bleed love and affection from my pores, I present you with all the stores.
Why? Because, how can one gift encompass all that is you?
If I could, I would give you the world, in the shape of a heart you could look through.
For as you look through the window that is my heart and rest on the pane,
You know to imagine happiness on this day without you would be insane,
For even as I breathe the air and it turns blue, i know its connection to you.
This, the 25th December and our Christmas number two.
As I stare upon Christmas past
I understand what I have overcome and why it didn’t last
Why the cheers were fleeting and happiness but a rose as it withered
I gasp and take it all in as the present is delivered
Living in Christmas present I pray it doesn’t desert me
Because this bittersweet bliss is all I hoped it to be
The hugs, so warm and fuzzy, like specially wrapped cups of tea on a cold day
The exact reason why I hope the future is as if Christmas present did stay
For the only thing I hope changes in my future life
Is the prefix to your name, not the person I call wife
For your position is one that no other can occupy as you do
No other can be guaranteed the love I so dearly hold for you
These two demons inside me present points that contradict
While the sermon sticks in my mind so illicit
I’m consumed and try to swallow it
But this guilt is too much for any man of god
Even an atheist that refuses to spare the rod
It’s like I’m torn between my Greek and roman aspects
And I’m running, tired of running as the crime scene they inspect
Money is power but instead of treasured, I hand it out like a bouquet of flowers
Internal conflicts that take my life, as my elation sits in it’s cupboard and cowers
Not wanting to look at the darkness of this world or come out
No matter how the monsters scream and shout
They won’t get in, as the fear sets in, rage now blue
Mind like the davinci code but not even I have a clue
So as I sow my eyes shut and slit my own throat
I conclude some answers shouldn’t be sought
Sometimes when things hide you shouldn’t seek
Unless you had already split those fingers so you can peek
But then the angels and demons would again be at conflict
Contradicting love by the pain they inflict
Happiness is temporary so why not enjoy it as it flees
Fleeting joys and a room full of keys
But what does that really mean when the door is unmarked and locked
That little engraved name is scratched out, chances blocked
Like a lottery tickets, no matter how much you scratch you don’t win
Life is a dance and happiness is that short spin
That spin that makes your heart race
That spin which is executed with perfect style and grace
You know you must perfect it so when it leaves you don’t regret it
So that when it flees, you already have that fire lit
The warmth that will be there until again it comes around
The embrace that keeps you safe and sound.
When you fail to realize the small joys in your life it leads to depression
When good overpowers the bad it leads to happiness so here goes my question
My obsession with perception like a paranoid nigguh and contraception
Now this concept of happiness and sadness comes with emotional dispossession
Dispossessed of all the stress and thus enlightened by happiness
So what happens when you exist between the light and the darkness
What happens when you live between the enlightenment and desperation
Desperate for a decline or an inclination
A faint idea of what should be in this dark endless sea
What action should I take, what role to transfer, who to be
How to grasp and deal with this inevitable relativity
Deeper than life, deeper than destiny
Deeper than the interlocking chains oppressing me
As I press on I hope to peek your interest
Want to make your eyes dazzle as I capture your heart like a cardiac arrest
Take your life into my hands
Take your destiny off the pedestal it stands
Bury your life and crush your destiny, now you’re six feet under
But my thoughts are beyond death so are they seven feet under, I wonder.
Then I would be riddled with thoughts deeper than destiny
Thoughts of suicide and tragedy, diminished only by the light of you and me,
That isn’t destiny but fate, that is the reason I patiently wait,
For an angel to whisper to me a breath, a dignified yes, never forsake.
For in this nightmare I’m shaking
Shaking until I awaken
Because with thoughts deeper than destiny
I have nightmares deeper than fate or reality
Defying every command given by their master, me
But then maybe I’m not in control, but a puppet in this game
I’m but a star in the black sky shrouded by fame
Lord knows I lack the intellect for he is the true ruler
Standing the measure of time seeing a future way crueler
So then is destiny but a part of life and fate, a subsidiary?
So then as my thoughts are riddle with holes, I’m simply ordinary
Not deeper than destiny, for what I am is but a fraction
Then destiny is deeper than me, for in the conversation between life and destiny I’m a slight interaction.